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ADVANCE TO GO
A race around the squares of a classic London Edition Monopoly Board
Advance to Go: About
THE BROWNS & LIGHT BLUES
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08:10 I emerge from Euston Station and find myself on Euston Road. If you are a doyen of the game of Monopoly, then you will know that Euston Road is one of three light blue locations on sale for a mere £100. I have given myself nine hours in which to visit each of the 22 streets, four stations, two utility companies and eight locations representing the other squares on a monopoly board. Why? – Why not! A short walk in an easterly direction brings me at 08:20 to Kings Cross Station. Unlike its more glamorous neighbour, St Pancras, Kings Cross has little to recommend it architecturally. It does have a platform 9¾ for Harry Potter fans, for it is from this mythical location that the boy wizard sets off for Hogwarts every year. The station and surrounding area is named after a sixty-foot monument, topped with a rather cheap statue to George IV that stood at the crossroads of two major thoroughfares. It was so disliked by locals that after 15 years it was pulled down, but the name stuck.
08:25 As I make the long climb up another blue property, Pentonville Road, I pass Joseph Grimaldi Park. I discover that the park is a former burial ground, which explains the gravestones: not a common feature in most recreational areas. One of the graves is that of the eponymous Grimaldi who was the most popular entertainer in the mid 19th century, treading the boards at nearby Sadlers Wells and the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane. I complete my light blue trio at 8:35 when I reach The Angel, Islington. There is a pub of that name today but on the other side of the road from the original. Back in 1935 it was a Lyons Corner House and it is thought that the then managing director of toymakers Waddington, Victor Watson, took tea there with his secretary as they sought out suitable locations for an English version of what was then an American game made by Parker Brothers.
09:00 The Old Kent Road, a busy thoroughfare out of London, has little to recommend it. I have reached it by bus from Borough tube station and, on alighting, I quickly find a shop displaying the name of the road to photograph (to prove I’d been there), before catching the next bus back. The bus deposits me at Lambeth North underground station (09:15). It was here in 2010, that Monopoly celebrated the 75th anniversary of the London edition. The Ordnance Survey plotted all of the locations, managing to get two in the wrong place! For the ‘Go’ square, they found the midpoint between Old Kent Road and Mayfair – Lambeth North station. From south of the river to the East End next, as I journey to Whitechapel Road, arriving at 09:50. I pass The London Hospital where Leicester born Joseph Merrick, better known as The Elephant Man, spent his final days. I once visited the small museum attached to the hospital and was intrigued to find Joseph’s skeleton on display but late found out it was a reconstruction, the original being held somewhere in the hospital. Nearly two hours have elapsed since I began my quest and I have now visited seven of the 40 squares.
The Browns and the Light Blues
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REDS & OTHER BITS AND BOBS
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09:52 Having completed the browns and light blues, I’m standing on Whitechapel Road, looking for the British Bangladeshi Media Centre, the recipient of a grant from the Mayor of Tower Hamlets’s ‘Community Chest.’ Sadly, there is no sign of it, but a quick Google search finds me another Community Chest funded organisation, the Clifton Trade Centre. This east end of London has seen a succession of immigrants settling here, starting with French Huguenots in the 17th century, followed by Irish Weavers, Ashkenazi Jews and more recently the aforementioned Bangladeshis.
10:06 The Tower of London never fails to thrill me. The might of the White Tower, the mystery of those disappearing princes, the macabre executions: what history. It will serve as my ‘Jail’ square although it hasn’t operated as prison since 1952 when the last ever prisoners were the Kray twins, held, not on account of of their criminal activities, but because they’d done a runner from National Service and were imprisoned by their regiment who were based inside the Tower at that time. A short walk from the Tower brings me to Fenchurch Street Station (10:10). It is one of the few London stations I had never been inside. Unlike the other London termini, it has no underground connection but it does have free toilets! On my return to Tower Hill station, I spot a parking notice that informs drivers of the ‘Free Parking’ after 2pm on a Sunday. I take a quick snap and then grab the underground to Liverpool Street Station (10:40). My last visit here was on my way to Heathrow and my credit card was cloned in the ticket machine, so to be safe, I use an Oyster Card which gets me to St Pauls and a long sweep of red properties.
11:00 Fleet Street, is synonymous with the press, although the newspapers mostly decamped to Docklands in the 1980s. The road is named after the River Fleet, one of London’s many underground rivers. By the time it was hidden beneath the city, it had become a filthy receptacle for the waste of a growing metropolis. I pass the Royal Courts of Justice (11:06) where judges probably don’t say, “Go to Jail,’ and certainly don’t tell prisoners, “Do not collect £200,” as they pass ‘Go’. A few steps further and the road becomes the Strand((11:10). I forget to locate Bush House, the home of Her Majesty’s Revenue and Custom, well versed in demanding ‘Super Tax’, so I have to retrace my steps at the end of the day, finishing my quest there at 15:10. I do find 1-3 Strand, the offices of The National Grid (11:33), our modern day ‘Electricity Company’ on the edges of Trafalgar Square 11:34). When they demolished the Royal Mews, the original plan was for the Royal Academy to have their headquarters in a building where Nelson’s Column now stands. The 145 foot high column was paid for by public subscription and work began in 1839. Nelson made his way to the top four years later but the lions that surround the base took another 24 years to arrive. I’ve arrived at my final red square, having visited a fair number of other squares en route.
Advance to Go: Text
ORANGES, PURPLE & YELLOWS
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11:17 Bow Street. There is no record of the conversation Victor Watson and his secretary Marjory Phillips’ had when they were choosing the streets for the 1935 London edition of Monopoly. Most of the coloured properties are either joined together or in a similar area: the oranges are the exception. All three have a connection with the law. Bow Street was the site of a magistrates’ court. It opened in 1745 and its second magistrate, the author Henry Fielding, was so appalled by the lawlessness caused by the consumption of gin that he tasked eight constables with enforcing law and order. These Bow Street Runners, as they were called, were the beginning of Britain's first police force. I divert to Bow Street from my journey down the Strand, passing a newsagents that is festooned with National Lottery advertising. That will do for ‘Chance’.
A few minutes later, I am in Trafalgar Square and about to mop up the purples. Northumberland Avenue (11:36) and Whitehall (11:37), both lead into Trafalgar Square. Whitehall takes its name from the Whitehall Palace that became a royal residence in 1530. Here Henry VIII married Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour and he also breathed his last within its walls. A fire in 1698 destroyed everything except Indigo Jones' Banqueting House, which stands to this day. The third purple, Pall Mall, I reach at 11:42 in the salubrious St James area and the home to various exclusive clubs. Now it is a short walk up Haymarket to the first yellow property, Piccadilly (11:46).
11:53 Vine Street is the shortest road on the Monopoly board and, in its longer days, was the site of a police station. In 1895, it was here that the Marquess of Queensbury was charged with libelling Oscar Wilde, setting off a chain of events that led to the poet's eventual downfall. I have to negotiate a celebratory event to mark the start of the NFL football season that has closed Piccadilly. Arriving at Vine Street, I agree with an online blogger who declared it the most uninteresting street in London. I return to Piccadilly Circus and observe some rappers recording a video in front of the statue that's mistakenly referred to as Eros. It was commissioned to commemorate Lord Shaftsbury, the Victorian politician and philanthropist, and represents Eros' brother, the God of requited love, Anteros. The journey to Leicester Square (12:00) takes me along Coventry Street (11:58), past the chiming Swiss Clock, which is playing a bizarre version of London Bridge is Falling Down in a minor key. The clock used to grace the Swiss Centre which was demolished a few years back to make way for the culturally superior M and Ms Shop. After lunch I catch the tube first to Holborn to try and find a 'Waterworks' connection - more of that another time - and then to Oxford Circus. From here, it is a pleasant stroll to Great Malborough Street (13:43) once home to Malborough Street Magistrates Court which has now been turned into a hotel. A list of defendants in the dock reads like a page of Who's Who: Christine Keeler, Bob Monkhouse, John Lennon, Mick Jagger, Lionel Bart of Oliver fame, and Johnny Rotten.
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THE GREENS & DARK BLUES
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13:20 I am standing in front of what purports to be the offices of the London Water Meter Company, one of a row of terraced houses not far from the British Museum, but I suspect it is just an address for mail as there is no indication of any 'Water Works' on the list of flat occupants. Disappointed, I continue my journey back to Oxford Circus busy googling an alternative. Oxford Street (13:40) is the first of three green locations I visit on the exclusive side of the Monopoly board. It used to be the road to Tyburn, the place of public execution, and it would have witnessed many crowds jeering the condemned prisoners as they passed on their way to an appointment with the hangman. Regent Street (13:42) crosses Oxford Street at Oxford Circus. Here, there is a diagonal or scramble crossing where, with all traffic halted at red lights, pedestrians can cross the roads in any direction. It isn't the only scramble crossing in the UK, Aberdeen has several apparently, and it wasn't the first, but with more than 80 million people crossing each year, it is the busiest. When I came here many years ago just before Christmas, it was a big mistake. The crossing was controlled by police officers and the crowds were so compact that you could take your feet off the ground and remain in an upright position. New Bond Street (13:48) is not far away, the home of many top of the range fashion outlets and the auction houses of Bonhams and Sotherbys.
14:06 Marylebone Station was the terminus of the Great Central Railway, the last mainline railway to enter London. It passes under Lords Cricket Ground, the home of the MCC (Marylebone Cricket Club), where construction took place over the winter months so as not to disturb the cricket. I have only the Dark Blue properties to visit now, and a waterworks if I can find one, so it is back on the underground to Marble Arch station, which stands at the northern end of Park Lane (14:35). The Marble Arch was built as a triumphal entrance to Buckingham Palace, but when Queen Victoria moved in, the palace was found to be too small! The extension, which features the famous balcony, necessitated the relocation of the arch to its present position, marooned on a traffic island. Hyde Park stretches out to the east and today it is full of concert goers off to enjoy a Prom in the Park. They have a good line up: Josh Groban, Gladys Knight, Michael Ball and my wife Sue, who is due to perform as part of a Rock Choir flash mob. Turning my back on the park, I head into Mayfair (14:40), this being a district rather than a street (technically I've already been here as New Bond Street lies within its boundary). As regular puzzlers of Ten of a Kind may remember, the two week long May Fair moved to the area in 1686 but, as it gained a disreputable reputation, it was abolished in 1764.
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WATERWORKS
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As you may recall, I spent a day in London about a year ago, trying to reach every space on the Monopoly board. I had all the colours and stations completed, plus Chance, Community Chest, the Electric Company, Jail and Go to Jail. I did pass Go where, disappointingly, I didn't collect £200 but also I didn't have to pay any tax either when visiting the Inland Revenue's London base. I'd even managed to find free parking but one square eluded me after trekking to an anonymous address which was where mail from the London Water Meter Company was sent rather than a waterworks. A quick Google showed the nearest actual waterworks to be several miles away so I have to think laterally.
So it was that I find myself on the north bank of the Thames walking through parks filled with a succession of statues of British worthies, many of them military men, whose names are about all I can remember from my schooldays history lessons. I could have chosen the Victoria Embankment itself as the ‘Waterworks’ because it was constructed by Sir Joseph Bazalgette to solve London's horrific sewage problems. After the Great Stink of 1858, where the stench arising from the polluted river caused members of Parliament great discomfort, Bazalgette was tasked with sorting it out. I spot his statue across the road in front of hoardings that protect a new engineering project that will continue his work by laying giant sewage pipes underneath the river. I turn and walk through Embankment gardens to the York House Watergate. This used to stand on the edge of the river and behind it was once a major 'Waterworks' - the York Buildings Waterworks.
A key feature was a strange octagonal pyramid that rose 70 feet into the air. It features in the works of many artists including a riverscape by Canaletto and a sketch by Turner. The Canaletto painting was the inspiration behind Renzo Piano’s modern day tower, the Shard. As I've already included an ex-prison, The Tower of London, for my jail, the site of a Victorian waterworks will do for me as I finally complete my journey round the Monopoly board. I've travelled 13.4 miles by tube, 2.2 miles by bus and completed 16 miles on foot. I've been to places I've not been to before, no mean achievement considering my love for this city, and found out many new pieces of information which, if you're still reading this, you'll have hopefully found as interesting as I did.
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